It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
