Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
