Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
