Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i now understand why vodka
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
