I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
