Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
