I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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