that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
