found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
dude. I can hear the air.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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