You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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