so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
