We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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