Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
