My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
