I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
