I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
