He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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