He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
