dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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