so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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