I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
