shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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