that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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