I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
