The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
