"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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