We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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