I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
