whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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