You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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