fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
