i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
