billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
