i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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