last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
