maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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