I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
