when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
