He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
