I can tuck mytits in my pants
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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