I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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