Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
