im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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