Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
