I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
