Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
