every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
