so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just found puke in my bra..
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
