check it out our google latitudes are spooning
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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