the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
