So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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