can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
