Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize