So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
