I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
