please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
