is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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