I'm so fucking centered right now
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
sex in a hospital.. check
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize