kristin has been a bad kristin
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
