When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
