It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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