Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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