***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
