I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
