My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We are two peas in an std pod
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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